MDC staff in deep trouble with Pirates

The Bureau of MDC have been in constant struggle to resurrect the whole world right from the deep grass root level. There are several attempts from various anti-world forces to thwart our genuine deeds. And, as a fall-out, our great bunch of MDC were hi-jacked by the Carribean Pirates forcing us to think upon using out-of-this-world instruments against them.

First of all, we regret for not being able to strop Barack Obama from becoming world's most influencing person. Leaving for better, we went to Somalia, a place of curse, to set the basics right. As we were on a mission of making a better mental order, the tragic things began to unhide.

The pirates of Somalia attacked a ship of MDC Bureau in Gulf of Aden. Though China received signals of our alarms, it was hesitant for a rescue work. We were totally unarmed to face the pirates and inevitably had to surrender.

We, here in the HO of MDC are considering various options on rescueing our staff. There should be no blood path. There should be no monetary dealings. We are thinking of uncovering the brain censory weapon and use it against the pirates who are inspired by Johnny depp starrer "Pirates of Carrebeans."

Osama aka Obama behind the troubles against McCain

Mental Dot Com bureau has been forced to re-activate its office after two years of hibernation. Though our office was closed, the bureau was alive and kicking with various activities all around the world. Nevertheless, we missed our prominent patients (say, the readers) who visit our office for treatments (for their ailments).

First drop: What made for our sudden resurfacing? Before answering this, we have to tell you where we were from the past two years.

We were at our mental best on working with John McCain, the Republican candidate for American Presidentship. But, suddenly, few days back we received a shocking news that McCain doesn't know how to email. Mental Dot Com had paid utmost care and had even given greater security for keeping this net fact intact.

As per our mental sources, Barack Obama is behind all these leakage of secrets. And we have finalled our stance that Obama, who gives away presidential secrets so easily, is not fit for presidentship.

Final drop: You might have seen the front page of "The new yorker". Obama along with his wife is cartooned as terrorists. It is we who leaked the fact that OBAMA and OSAMA are of same origin. This irked Obama against Mental Dot Com. He wanted to terrorize us by breaking our tight security that we gave to John McCain.

Jamal Simmons, the political lighthouse of Obama, made several rounds of emails telling the world that McCain doesn't know email. Mark Sahoo, the answer for McCain's mail deficiency, got the guidance from Mentals to trap and block all the mails sent by Simmons. But one mail somehow managed to escape from the rough claws of Mental security and reached Toby Harnden, a maverick journalist who was well paid by Jamal Simmons.

Suspense drop: After email leakage, we are going to give one big bang news for the whole world. This is a secret news that you all should obide by the secrecy in it. John McCain is intentionally avoiding to learn Internet. He has a big agenda to demolish whole Internet world. He doesn't want countries, people to connect together. If one person works hard and gain knowledge and invent something, then his work would fall prey for soft workers through internet. McCain wants to protect the knowledge.

Then why he is not learning Internet? Even if he learns Internet, still he would be able to follow his agenda. These are the doubts in your mind, isn't it? The answer is "McCain is a moral person". Being a war veteran of Vietnam war, he has become a brutal force of morality. He wants to adapt Pope benedect's new principles into his administration and agenda. Good.. good luck....

Fall into the PIT; we will rescue you

(Mental Rescue Team Bureau)
When the PRINCE falls into a pit (or a borewell), in a remote area of India, the chances of rescuing him were very narrow as much as the mouth of that pit. Anyways, Indian soldiers were able to pull out that five years old Prince alive. Prince got recognition, shot into fame, received prayers, and blessings from Prime mentals and so and so….

The First Drop: An inspired Mental team approached Indian government with some proposals. Government, with all its willingness, gave permission for Mental team to go ahead with its Pit Fall Operations.

Mental Dot Com made up a strategic plan and formed Mental Pit Fall Rescue Committee comprising stalwarts from Politics, Administration and other main Pit fall regions. The committee members are pastmasters in their respective fields. They know how to dig a Khedda (or a Pit), invite others to fall on it, and make a rescue effort and become a saviour of the downtrodden (fallen!) people.

Welcome to the Pit: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have formed innumerous Pits alongside our Mental Dot Com. Anybody who visits MDC premises, will get a great chance to jump into any pit. You have to inform prior about your amount of time staying inside the pit, because, we have to arrange sufficient foods, oxygen and people to pray, for you. We will make up a rescue (not risk) operation using the most sophisticated things like satellite and others. After rescuing, you will receive complements from Worldwide Mental Leaders, including Bush, Blair etc.

The Future Drop: Great responses are receiving for our MDC rescue operations. Some people are falling into the pit without informing us. There are instances of more than one person falling into same pit at a time. Some people, who have forgotten how to get into a trap, are criticizing Mental Dot Com for pulling the name of Prince and Indian Soldiers. Anyways, we are sure that our project will run efficiently and beyond control.

Security beefed up in Mental Dot Com

(Mental Defence Bureau)
Israelis has called up its reserve forces in desperation to trace out Mental Bureau. In coming few days American forces would be landing in Lebanon.

To defend ourselves we have made some security arrangements, although we rejected a security offer from our head office which is located in another galaxy.

Asatyaanveshi will be an anti-missiles and rocket launcher. Soni and Sindhu act as MDC agents as well as Radar experts. Shiv, Mahantesh, Mana and Enigma would lead Mental Security forces in case of a threat.

We have invited Virender Sehwag and Mahendra singh dhoni to stand in middle of the enemies' bombings and hit them back beyond the boundaries. Zenedine Zidane would be coming to lead our head butting experts in case of a armless war happens.

The Back and Final Drop: The fact that Mental Bureau met Osama Bin Laden has created wild furore among Americans. America directed india to put a ban on 'Blogspot.com', which has close proximity with Mental bureau.

Israel and Hezbollas failed to trace Mental bureau

(From Mental Wartime Bureau)

This news has been published from very remote area in a Lebanese colony being in a nerve blocking situation. Our entire team is in the midst of the war between Israel and Lebonese. On one side Israeli rockets are chasing us and on another side Hezbolla guerillas are targeting us, for the reasons unknown.

The Back Drop: You're surprised what in the hell we are doing here. But there's a great story behind this. Few days back when India's 2 space missions, Insat 4C satellite and Agni-III missile, burnt into fire the 1050 million hopes were burnt into ashes. Our Mental Dot Com staff travelled all the way to India to give some hope, which we have in excess. Then the Mumbai serial bomb blasts blasted away some hopes which we had given for Indians. With no hopes left, we were stranded hopelessly in the middle.

At this time, we got a call from G-8 Summit requesting us to go there. We have to take care of the Mental health of World's most powerful and top 8 Mentals and co, who would be struggling to find a appropriate way to waste their time. Our entire staff, without any hopes, started journey towards Group of 8 Mentals.

In the mid-way we accidentally met Osama bin Laden, who begged us to take care of Hezbollas, and arrived into Beirut Airport instead of G-8 Summit. We lost our way in the thick mountains. There in the G-8 Summit, Mr. George Bush was out of mind by our absence. And here in the Beirut, Hezbollas were out of breathe by our absence.

The Final Drop: Bush ordered Israel to track us. Israel sent aircrafts and rockets to dig us out, but no success yet. Mr. Laden asked Hezbolla to trace us out. Their Guerillas wandered all around the Lebanon only to scratch their heads or crushed by Israeli rockets. Can anybody trace us out? Impossible....!!!

Mr. Scolari is the FIFA Mental of the World Cup

Our Mental Dot Com bureau had got an information that Portugal football team coach Mr. Luiz Felipe Scolari has lost the balance, both physically and mentally, and was about to fall into the dire straits. This had happened two days after the Portugal team lost to France.

Sensing something FISHy we sent a team led by Football International Funny Association(FIFA) president Mr. Joseph Bladder to drag him down to our 'Intent'ive Care Unit.

Mr. Bladder tried to mat him by holding and gripping with his arms. The scene happened incidently in Football ground a day before the match between Portugal and Germany for the third place. Mr. Scolari shouted scholarly and started to wave his hands violently round and round like the curly voice of Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20. Mr. Bladder gave up himself and surrendered with his urinary bladder being badly damaged.

Mr. Ruiny of England team was a member of our team. He tried to intimidate Mr. Scolari by kicking his leg in the air. Then it happened, 'Crush'tiano Ronaldo, who badly missed the FIFA young player award because of English Fans, literally crushed and ruined Mr. Ruiny.

This was the time to take appropriate measures. We made a request to UN Ex President Mr. Coffee Anna to cope with Mr. Scolari. Mr. Coffee had his final cup of tea. He stalked and talked with Mr. Scolari and Mr. Bladder and finally concluded to give some consolation of some fifa award for Mr. Scolari to stop his enraging dances.

After a lot of discussions and researches we have made a decision to give "FIFA Mental of the world cup" for Mr. Scolari. Right now Mr. Scolari is going back to his Brasilian hometown Passo Fundo, Rio Grande do Sul. After mixing his football histrionics with Samba dance he all the way will be dancing around our Mental Dot Com.

Final Drop: There are other awards which we are planning to give to Kaka, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Luis figo, Zidane, Bechkam and others. Every nobody are welcome for this great ceremony. We are inviting no comments from Every nobody.

Psychics, Half-Mentals required for Dot Com

Great job openings in CMMI infinite level Company Mental Dot Com. No age bar, No qualification, bla.. bla....

Err... Pause a second...Qualifications are required.

1. The person should be as psychic as The President of America.
2. The person should be as half mental as The Politicians of India.
3. The person should be Lunatic enough to dream Lunars like King of Den, Laden.

These are some of the qualifications. But other qualifications will be digged out from you once you enter our Mental Dot Com premises. Now, I have to tell you very good news. Once you enter our site you will automatically acquire the required qualifications as well as all the best remunerations in the whole Universe.

The Job Description:

The candidate should be able to find out how the Politicians from the Subcontinent are capable in digesting the enormous amount of money, which is meant for social development, still maintaining their bulging stomachs.

The candidate should drag out the Swiss Accounts raised due to the indigestion from these Politicians and handover it(and them) to the Metal Dot Com Finance Health Care Unit.

The candidate should possess thorough knowledge of European Union' erratic erection of Policies.

And still lots more...

Back drop: We have recieved lakhs of No-Mails requesting us to include them in our team. Though our's is a Dot Com, we are not tiny dots but the big giants in this whole Universe. We have enough space and time to include the whole mental members from the Earth. Remember Earth is only a tiny dot in our Universe.

Final drop: German Footballer and Captain the German team Michael Ballack is in a tense mood after gloomed over by the rising Italians in the semifinals of the World Cup Football. His mind got a crack half. Hence he became a semi crack, which is just a great qualification for a job in my Site. We are trying to pull him towards us, he is remaining standstill. Can anybody provide a suggestion on how to fully crack the Mr. Ballack and put into Barrack?